In the worst moments of 2020, I have told myself that things could have been worse. The virus might have particularly affected children; scientists might not have discovered any effective vaccine. Former British transport secretary Chris Grayling could still be in government. Dan Brown could have published another novel. The Queen could have . . . And so, with apologies to Monty Python’s Eric Idle:
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things force you to stay at home
If this is your first pandemic
Don’t grumble, it’s systemic
And wait till they sort out our poor genome
And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life
If they put you in tier 4
Be glad it’s not a war
And that you’re not expected to be brave
Forget about the Zooming
Not to mention the self-grooming
Chillax now, you’ll survive the second wave
And always look on the bright side of life
(Come on!)
Always look on the right side of life
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
If only this were really just the flu
When you’re sick of Boris Johnson
Just be grateful to Wisconsin
Without it, we might still have Donald too
So always look beyond the mutant strain.
Soon there’ll be a vaccine in your vein
2020’s been quite shit
When you look at it
Life’s a laugh and death’s a joke, you know
But if the cupboard’s looking bare
At least it’s not intensive care
And think of all the parties that we’ll throw
And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life.